


Happy Place

by junko



Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 23:50:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1205074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junko/pseuds/junko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Renji is struggling to fit into Academy life after Rukia's adoption.  Hisagi offers to intercede and ends up helping far more (and in a very different way than) than either of them expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Place

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a one-off that exists inside of the "Tails of Zabimaru" series (but can be read alone.)

Renji stared at his face in the Academy’s washroom and tried not to put his fist through the reflective glass. He dipped his hands into the basin full of water and scrubbed his forehead harder.

When he checked the mirror again, he could still see a ghost of the words where the calligraphy ink had sunk into the pores of his skin. The letters were gray shadows, but the characters clearly read, “Dirty Dog.”

Renji swore then and there that he’d tattoo his fucking face to keep this from happening again. 

Kira poked his head through the door nervously. Renji glared at him. Some friend he’d turned out to be. “Leave me alone, you yellow-bellied piece of shit,” he snarled.

“I’m so sorry, Renji. I told you. I was deep in meditation or I would have stopped them, I swear.” 

The fuck he would have. No one ever did. Not for the last time, Renji wished Rukia was part of their advanced classes. Who would have thought Inuzuri bred better loyalty than all the other districts represented at Academy. 

“Sure,” Renji said finally, because it wasn’t worth alienating the one guy who at least deigned to sit next to him in the mess hall. And, Kira was no coward, not really. He’d run towards the Hollows that night, too. “Anyway, it’s my fault for falling asleep.”

And the damn instructor for turning a blind eye.

“You were snoring pretty loudly, I guess,” Kira said with a wary sort of smile.

“I’ll bet.” Renji wiped uselessly at the stains again, scowling. Renji hated to admit it, but he was probably failing meditation. He had yet to make it through a single class without passing out and drooling on the tatami. “You got a handkerchief or something? It’s shitty enough to walk the halls when everybody is already barking at me. I’m not sure I can take the pointing and laughing.”

Not without completely losing his temper, anyway.

Kira fished around in the pockets of his uniform. After a few moments he produced a stained, disgusting piece of cotton. “Sorry, Renji. This is all--”

Renji snatched it from his hand. Putting his teeth into it, he started a tear. After ripping it in two, he knotted the pieces together. “Thanks, man,” he said to Kira’s horrified expression. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“But, Renji. That’s so gross. I--”

“I don’t care if you wiped your ass with it. I ain’t going to Etiquette and Manners with ‘Dirty Dog’ on my fucking forehead.”

#

The day didn’t improve much after that. Renji made it through the next couple of classes by ignoring all the chuckling behind sleeves, but he wasn’t prepared to be called out of zanjutsu by Shūhei Hisagi.

“Damn it,” Renji muttered, but he dutifully bowed out to follow Hisagi into the hallway. 

Truthfully, he’d had a kind of crush on Hisagi for a while now. At first Renji’d had no idea why everyone thought Hisagi was so cool, but seeing him in action was kind of breathtaking. In fact, he’d been kind of ticked that Kira and Momo had gotten so damn starry-eyed over their rescuers, when Hisagi was far more worthy of their worship.

Because, not only was Hisagi competent and cool in battle, which Renji always found sexy, but damn it, look at him with that floppy/spiky hair and those smoldering grey eyes. 

Why the fuck would you go mooning after captains and lieutenants, when you had this so close to home? 

But, even so, Renji was cranky to be missing out on his best class. When everything else sucked, Renji always took comfort in having a legal venue in which to blow off some steam and pound the crap out of his colleagues. 

Hisagi, at least, got right to the point. “Your meditation teacher sent me. She wants to know why you’re disrespecting her.”

“Are you kidding me?” Renji all but shouted, his voice echoing down the empty hall. “Disrespecting? I’m disrespecting her?” He tore the cloth from his head and pointed to the faded marks, “What the fuck do you call this?”

“Rude,” Hisagi said without missing a beat. “You saying the teacher wrote on you?”

“No,” Renji said, exasperated. “But no way she didn’t see it happening. It’s not like pen and ink are usual staples for meditation class. The brush came off her desk.”

“Do you know who did it?”

“How the hell should I know? I was sound asleep!”

Hisagi stared down Renji’s bristling anger and seemed to be waiting for Renji to put some clues together.

After several moments, Renji let out a long sigh and said, “I suppose you’re saying sensei let this happen to teach me some kind of lesson about sleeping in class, huh?”

“What’s the problem, anyway, Abarai? You not getting enough sleep otherwise? Is this sort of thing happening outside of class?”

Renji snorted. Cute that Hisagi was asking if he was getting bullied, like it hadn’t come from all sides since the moment people figured out he and Rukia were from Inuzuri. But it was always cowardly shit like this, nobody was stupid enough to get physical -- not after he and Rukia had very cleverly showed off some Inuzuri-style street brawling techniques that first week in the quad. He’d ‘let’ her beat him then, too, so people would figure out that size wasn’t going to save them if they thought she looked like an easier target.

When Renji realized Hisagi was still waiting for an answer, he shrugged, “I got no problems I can’t handle.”

“You’re sure?”

“Look, this place is a cakewalk compared to what I’m used to. The worst of you lot is better than any what I left behind. Seriously, man, I sleep way better in the common room than I ever did on the street.” Hisagi continued to frown at him in a way that made Renji add, “Plus, I want to be here. I’d put up with pretty much anything to stay.”

“Well, you’re going to fail out if you can’t demonstrate your ability to reach a mindscape you can share with your zanpakutō.”

That set Renji back. He felt his righteous indignation deflate as his back hit the wall with a slump. “You’re kidding me.”

“No,” Hisagi said. “Of course not. Meditation is zanpakutō 101, man.”

The irony devastated Renji. He couldn’t get his Zabimaru if he didn’t pass a class that was suppose to teach him how to listen for Zabimaru’s name. It had never occurred to Renji that there would be a stumbling block to graduation beyond potential expulsion. What would he do if he failed? He’d go insane. 

It must have shown on his face because Hisagi offered, “You want some tips?”

Renji let out the remains of his anger with a deep sigh, “I need to graduate. Like, a lot.”

Hisagi nodded like he understood Renji’s desperation. “Okay. I know you have tutors you see after dinner, but I’ll drop by your room after you’re done and we can work on it together.”

Wait, Hisagi was going to tutor Renji, personally? That was exciting on a lot of levels. Renji’d heard there was a queue of people begging Hisagi for the same privilege. Suddenly, Renji found himself feeling a little ashamed at his initial reaction to Hisagi showing up. As Hisagi turned to go, Renji said, “Hey, thanks. I appreciate you going to the extra effort for someone like me, senpai.”

“Don’t worry about it, Abarai,” Hisagi said over his shoulder. “You helped save my life once. Now I’m saving your sorry ass.”

#

It was late when Hisagi showed up at the common room. Renji was sitting on his bedroll, hunched over the book he was working through. Even though he was deep in concentration, Renji heard the sharp intake of collective breath that signaled the arrival of the famous Shūhei Hisagi. 

Hisagi hovered in the doorway, clearly embarrassed by the attention he was getting. Though who could blame them? He cut a striking figure with that hair and the scars and that fascinating ‘69’ tattoo that had Renji thinking all the wrong things. 

Some of the first years started whispering excitedly among themselves. Pulling himself back from his own admiration, Renji carefully marked his progress in the book, and stood up with a wave. Hisagi looked grateful to have spotted him, but let Renji come to him. 

Renji grabbed his pillow and knapsack and went to meet him at the door. “Hey,” he said in greeting.

Hisagi nodded, but was frowning at the stuff Renji had slung over his shoulder. “You don’t need to bring anything, Abarai. And a pillow? Isn’t that kind of defeating the purpose?”

“I can’t leave it behind,” Renji said, starting down the hallway “It’d get nicked.”

“What? Are you serious?”

Renji nodded, stopping to slide the door open for Hisagi. “Sure. We got a couple of new ones in last week. You know how it is when they’re fresh up.”

Hisagi gave Renji a curious look as he led the way into the lamp-lit quad. “No.”

“Oh,” Renji rubbed the back of his neck, a little embarrassed to have to explain. “Well, sometimes it takes time before people settle down, right? These new guys, they’re pretty jumpy still. Just up from Thirty-Five East. Not really used to life topside. Still in hunter-gatherer mode, and it’ll be awhile before the concept of a quartermaster sinks in.”

Hisagi had stopped in the middle of the path and was giving Renji a long, serious look.

“What?” Renji asked self-consciously.

“And you’re telling me you’re sleeping okay at night?”

Renji snorted. “These guys ain’t no Inuzuri anglers. They can’t snag your shit out from under you when you’re lying on it,” Renji chuckled. “I just don’t want to leave flash out to tempt them, see? Because then I just have to go bust their stash and, not only is that a pain in the ass because there’s usually a fight, but also prying open their hidey-hole like that actually winds them up tighter. Better to let them have a hoard for a while, till the nerves settle out.”

Hisagi was blinking at him. “I... think I followed that.”

“Accent too strong?”

Hisagi smiled wanly. “You could say.”

Renji felt himself blushing furiously. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. First, he’d let his passion get the better of him earlier shouting into Hisagi’s face, and now this. He wasn’t sure which was worse. 

“Sorry, sir,” Renji said carefully thinking through his diction and word choice before he spoke. Rubbing his forehead and finding Kira’s ratty makeshift bandana still covering it, he added, “I guess this morning affected me more than I realized.”

“It’s okay,” Hisagi said firmly. “That’s why we’re here.”

Here turned out to be a secluded part of the quad near the common dorm. The lower district cadet housing was situated near the Academy’s servants’ quarters at the back end of campus. Down the path they could see the guardhouse near “Loser’s Gate,” so called because it opened to the Southern Districts of the Rukongai and, along with caravans of supplies, it collected a ragged group of Academy washouts and wannabes. 

Two lamps were hung over the gate’s doors casting everything in a dim sort of twilight.

In the still night air, they could hear the sounds from the camp beyond the walls. Flickers of their cooking fires gave the clouds in the southern sky a warm golden tinge to the blackness. In addition to those cadets whose careers had ‘gone south,’ there was also a vibrant, if transient, community of traders, craftsmen, black marketeers, and wandering souls seeking employment inside Academy walls. 

Hisagi gestured for Renji to join him cross-legged on the ground of the quad. A thousand busy feet had long since trampled the meager grass to dust. They sat in the deep shadow of the servant’s mess, a long building that, in the heat of the day was left open to the air, with only sudare bamboo blinds propped up in intervals for privacy. They sat side by side, with their backs resting against the short wall. Renji made sure he sat on Hisagi’s left-side. He wasn’t sure how comfortable Hisagi was having people looking at his scars all the time.

Renji set his stuff beside him, putting the pillow on top of the knapsack to keep it from the dirt. He rested an arm against it. Looking up at the moon, Renji smelled wood smoke and someone’s stew in the cool night air. “So, senpai, how do we do this?”

“Tell me about your ‘happy place.’”

Renji opened his arms to indicate where they were. “Dude, you’re looking at it.”

“Loser’s Gate?”

“Fuck, no. Academy,” Renji explained. “Like I said earlier, worst day here is better than anything that came before.” Except meeting Rukia. He’d trade that day for the one he lost her.

“Okay,” Hisagi said, scratching behind his ear thoughtfully, “I think I’m beginning to see the problem. I’m guessing all that talk in class about favorite childhood memories doesn’t really work for you.”

Renji glanced at Hisagi’s face, half-shadowed by the night’s growing darkness. Was that pity? Renji couldn’t take it, if it was. 

Looking back at the forbidding gate, Renji shrugged. “Eh, lots of people have shitty pasts. Even some rich kids hate what they left. So sensei told us to imagine favorite spots on campus. I usually fall asleep dreaming about the dojo.” Or sometimes the library, but Renji kept that to himself. He didn’t want Hisagi thinking he was a big time nerd. “Thing is, Zabimaru isn’t in the dojo, is he? He’s in the great hall or wherever all the zanpakutō are kept before we get them. I can’t visualize that because I don’t know what it looks like.”

If Hisagi was surprised to hear Renji talk about Zabimaru, he didn’t show it. Instead, he said, “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you close your eyes and I’ll try my best to describe every detail I remember.”

“You’ve been there?”

“I can’t serve in the Court Guard without a zanpakutō, can I?” he smiled in that soft way he had. 

Renji had to swallow a reflexive, ‘you’re so cool!’ but he was pretty sure he was beaming at Hisagi with complete and utter admiration. “What’s his name?”

“I’m still working on that,” Hisagi said, his eyes darting away as though embarrassed.

Renji had a hard time believing that. It was true that most people graduated without knowing the name of their zanpakutō; some even went their whole careers. But, Hisagi always seemed so confident, so comfortable in his own skin, so sure of himself. Seemed strange to Renji that a guy like that had no clue. Maybe he was just being self-deprecating or modest or something. 

“Yet he’s yours already,” Renji said when Hisagi seemed lost in thought. “Do you have any idea how envious I am of you?”

And how turned on? But Renji kept that part to himself, as well.

Hisagi’s response wasn’t at all what Renji expected. His gaze focused on something in the dirt and his hands curled into fists in the fabric of his hakama. “Yeah, well, anyway, let’s stay on task. Close your eyes. I’ll tell you about the great hall.”

“Right,” Renji said, leaning his head back. As he let his eyes shut, Renji wondered what he’d said to make Hisagi close-up like that. Maybe the guy was sick of all the jealousy and admiration. He must get tired of all the adoring looks he got, all the hushed chatter, and all the people who followed him around--but not too closely. Everyone must always expect a certain kind of behavior from him since he represented the Guard; it must be hard to cut loose and relax with all those eyes on him, expecting great things. 

Probably the guy was kind of lonely. 

Renji’d never heard rumors of a lover and Academy students lived to gossip, especially about Shūhei Hisagi. As far as Renji knew, Hisagi didn’t even have any friends… well, not any more. That was the other thing, wasn’t it? No one at Academy could look at those scars and not remember Kanisawa and Aoga. 

That had to suck. Seeing a reminder of their deaths, what you probably figured as your failing to protect them, every damn time you looked in a mirror? Watching them die had been traumatic enough for Renji. He’d seen Hollows take people plenty of times before, but the ambush factor had made that day worse. There was an expectation of safety, that the whole thing was just supposed to be practice, protected by the Academy’s wards.

Poor Hisagi. He was in charge when everything went to the shitter.

Still, for Renji, it had been kind of amazing to finally be able fight back. In fact, he was really grateful Momo had convinced him and Kira to stay and not follow the order to retreat. He owed her big time. He was certain she was the reason he had no nightmares about it, no regrets.

At some point Renji realized Hisagi had been talking all the while his mind had been wandering. Gods, his focus really was for shit. He tried to pay attention now, and instead found himself enjoying the deep timbre of Hisagi’s voice. Dude was an excellent storyteller; Renji had no trouble picturing the scene--even having come in halfway into it. Except... it seemed like Hisagi found the whole experience kind of unnerving, even unpleasant. The great hall was a dark, forbidding place and the zanpakutō waiting for him seemed almost sinister... cruel.

_Seems awful. Is that where you are?_ Renji asked Zabimaru.

_You know where I am_ , Zabimaru replied in a deep purr that rumbled like a bass drum beat inside Renji’s chest, rattling against his ribs. He could almost sense the lines of his tattoos under the Academy uniform, like raised welts. 

_In me,_ Renji thought with a nod.

_This one carries his load heavily_ , the other voice hissed. _They don’t wish to meet._

“Wait, why not?” Renji said out loud, his eyes snapping open. 

Hisagi looked surprised at the interruption to his monologue, “Huh?”

“Is it true?” Renji asked, sitting up. He glanced over at Hisagi, searching gray eyes in the dark for an answer. “You don’t... _like_ your zanpakutō?”

Hisagi took in a sharp breath. His eyes widened for a second, then narrowed as if with anger. Renji worried for a second that there might be a fight, but then Hisagi turned away sharply to glare at Loser’s Gate. Hisagi’s mouth worked as though trying to formulate a response, but then he seemed to give up with a bow of his head, “How can I? It looks like something meant to reap life.”

Renji frowned. He glanced over at Hisagi, trying to figure him out. He’d seen Hisagi fight: he wasn’t a coward. So what was his deal? Of course it looked like something meant to reap life. It was a fucking sword.

And why was Hisagi lying about knowing his zanpakutō’s name? 

“‘Looks like it’s meant to ‘reap’ life,’ eh?” Renji repeated. Giving Hisagi a sidelong glance, he tucked his arms under his head and stretched out his legs. “You mean like a scythe? Or like, when you hold the blade up, it makes the character for death or reap or ‘kill them, kill them all’ or what?”

“Scythe-like blades,” Hisagi murmured, as though to himself, “And chains.”

“Sweet! A range weapon. That’s good shikai, bro,” Renji said in appreciation, giving him a little pat on the shoulder that lingered just a little too long before pulling away guiltily. 

But, if Hisagi noticed, he didn’t say anything. Renji folded his hands in his lap and stared at them. Damn. Renji was going to have to be careful not to touch too much since he clearly seemed to want something more than a little tutoring.

Renji cleared his throat, “I’m living in fear I’m finally going to call mine out and it’ll be, you know, an ink brush or something useless.”

Zabimaru hissed. 

_Settle down, I know you’re not like that,_ Renji told Zabimaru. _I’m being sneaky here. I’m drawing him out._

But it didn’t seem to be working. In fact, it seemed to have caused the opposite reaction. Hisagi shrank into himself. Pulling his knees up, he wrapped his arms around his legs and nestled his chin in the cleft between. 

Beyond Loser’s Gate, someone started up a song. The words were hard to make out at distance, but, as other voices joined into the rousing chorus, Renji thought it sounded like a bawdy drinking ballad he’d heard in Inuzuri. It seemed ironic, somehow, that the washouts were having a party while they were both… frustrated, albeit in different ways. 

It also reminded Renji why they were there. As intimate as it was to be sitting here with his idol, Renji needed to not fail out of meditation. Because if he did, he’d end up over there on the wrong side of Loser’s Gate committing seppuku or drinking himself into oblivion. And everyone on this side would be saying shit like, ‘See, dogs don’t belong here’ and much, much worse.

Zabimaru howled.

There was that, too. He couldn’t lose Zabimaru. Now that Rukia was gone, Zabimaru was all he had left….

No, Renji couldn’t afford to be thinking like that. He had to focus on what was in reach. And he was a fucking star student. No way some stupid-ass mediation was going to get the better of him.

Renji took his pillow and tossed it into the dirt. Turning around, he flopped back onto it, and propped his long legs on the wall. “The great hall image was a bust, sempai. I get the feeling it’s different for everyone, anyways. So why don’t you tell me about your ‘happy place.’ I bet that killer-scythe of yours ain’t hanging out in no rose garden, eh?”

Hisagi gave Renji a long measuring look. “Actually, my side of my inner world is my parent’s farm.” There was that soft smile. Renji was glad to see it had been coaxed back. “We didn’t grow roses, though.”

Renji returned a grin, trying to imagine Hisagi as a farmer. The hayseed stereotype didn’t jibe with the spiky hair, tattoo and studded choker, but then Renji figured Hisagi probably hadn’t come to the Soul Society looking like he did now. Sounded like he’d been pretty young, if he was talking about ‘parents.’ He must have found himself assigned to one of the rural districts.

“Your side?” Renji asked, suddenly picking up on that. “Death blade’s got his own?”

“Yes,” Hisagi said. Renji watched Hisagi’s eyes as he talked, thrilled by the intensity that flashed in the moonlight. “His is dark; mine is light. He won’t step in my world, and I refuse to enter that pit of hell he calls his. We meet in the twilight space between.”

At first Renji thought maybe there was something seriously wrong with Hisagi that he kept so much distance from a part of himself, but then the full symbolism of Hisagi’s inner world hit him--light and dark, islands of individuals in the center of each. 

“Holy shit,” Renji breathed. “The two of you together: that’s yīnyáng! You must kick ass.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s why I hold off as long as possible before I call him out,” Hisagi agreed, lifting his head to stare up at the crescent moon that was starting to rise. “Too much of him in my world makes me feel unbalanced.”

Laying his head back against the pillow, Renji frowned up at the moon. Briefly, Renji felt like they’d connected. Unbalanced seemed wrong. Shouldn’t they be more powerful when they were acting as one? And holding back… what even was that?

“Yeah, I’m not big on that,” Renji said after a moment’s consideration. “I mean, the holding back. Not really my style.”

Hisagi chuckled. “I never would have guessed, Abarai.”

And, yet he was holding back, because what Renji really wanted to do was tackle Hisagi and kiss him senseless.

Watching the clouds roll by, revealing stars as they moved, Renji said: “You know you can call me ‘Renji,’ right? Everyone does. And, anyway, even if we’re not best friends, we fought together. Seems like that ought to count.”

“You helped save my life. I think you deserve my respect, Abarai-san.”

Renji sucked a breath and nearly choked. No one, not even instructors who reflexively added the –san honorific to everyone’s name had ever bothered to do that with him. He was too low, too far beneath everyone, even for something so standard. Hearing it now, especially from Hisagi, made the heat of a blush overwhelm his face. Renji rubbed his nose to hide the embarrassing intensity of his emotional response, and gave Hisagi’s thigh a shove with the other hand, “Knock it off, sempai. Be serious.”

After righting himself, Hisagi said, “I was being serious. I don’t understand all this disrespect you get all the time.”

“No?” Renji chuckled darkly. 

“No,” Hisagi repeated seriously. “You’re a star student, one of the three best in your class. The only three who turned around to try to help us… me. I know I ordered everyone to run, but that’s because I didn’t think any of you would be of any use. But… you were. With just asauchi.”

“It was Momo who told us to countermand your order.”

“You throwing her under the bus, Abarai?” Hisagi asked with a quirk of his scarred eyebrow.

Renji sat up so he was facing Hisagi. He leaned back on his arms and stared at the flooring of the servants’ mess that he could see under the bamboo shades. “No, I just… I don’t want to take her credit. She was the brave one. Kira and I had our tails between our legs.”

Something softened in Hisagi’s expression that Renji couldn’t quite read. But, then he reached up and gently pulled the filthy rag-bandana from Renji’s forehead. After setting it aside, Hisagi’s finger traced the spot on Renji’s forehead where the ink had been. 

“I know what they say about you, what they do in the halls when you walk by,” Hisagi said, his fingers outlining ‘Dog’ over and over again. Renji flinched, his face burning with shame. “But, I wish you wouldn’t let it bring you down. Dogs have good qualities too: fierce and loyal.” 

But dogs were cowards.

And dirty, low, base creatures.

Try as he might, Renji could never get beyond those.

Not knowing what was going through Renji’s head, Hisagi smiled gently at him. His fingers were writing something over the other character, as if rewriting the mark of shame. Renji had to close his eyes to visualize it. They fluttered shut and he parsed out the subtle shift of characters that transformed ‘Stray Dog’ to ‘Hell Hound.’

Renji gasped in surprise and his eyes flew open just as Hisagi leaned in for a kiss. Their lips met with a heat that surprised Renji. He knew he was into Hisagi, but… what was this? Before Renji could figure it out, Hisagi pulled away. His fingertips traced Renji’s open, shocked mouth. Then, tapping Renji’s nose, Hisagi said, “Besides, they’re probably just jealous of all your awesome.”

His, what? Did Hisagi just call him ‘awesome’??

“Mmmuh, yeah, awesome,” Renji breathed stupidly, desperately trying not to make smoochy, come back motions with his lips. “Very awesome. Can we awesome some more?”

Hisagi laughed lightly and then obliged. His hand cupped Renji’s jaw and drew him close. Hisagi’s tongue plunged in, confident, cool, and assured. Renji, meanwhile, met him hot and hungry and eager—like a dog after a bone. 

Heat flushed Renji’s body. He was embarrassed by his enthusiasm, but he had no control over his impulse to reach for fistfuls of that spiky hair. It was surprisingly silken for as shaggy as it looked. Renji’s fingers clawed and stroked, dragging Hisagi in for a crushing kiss. Shivers of pleasure spiked down the length of his body, making him hard from just a kiss.

It didn’t help that Renji never did get used to wearing underwear. Fundoshi came standard with the Academy uniform, but fuck if Renji could figure out how it worked. It was the weirdest little strip of fabric with some ties. Plus, it looked to him like it was giving a guy a permanent wedgie.

Hisagi’s hands had been trailing down Renji’s chest and accidentally brushed up against the evidence of Renji’s desire. He pulled away abruptly. Renji turned away, unsuccessfully trying to hide his erection by fluffing up his hakama silks. Ready to die of it all, he said weakly, “I guess it’s been a long time.”

“For me too,” Hisagi said softly. “But we don’t have any…”

Lube? Cripes, these Academy boys seemed to think there was only one way to fuck. Renji rolled his eyes, “Ain’t you got the solution on your face? Just gimme your dick and you can have mine.”

“What? At the same time?”

Did Hisagi not know what ‘69’ was to most people? No, of course, not. Renji was the dirty one here; but, fuck it, he might as well play the part. “Can’t handle it, College boy?” 

When Hisagi seemed to hesitate, Renji gave Hisagi a hard enough shove this time that Hisagi ended sprawling on the dusty ground. A quick scrabble and Renji had the advantage over a very surprised-looking Hisagi. With a growl, Renji started undoing Hisagi’s obi. “Fine,” Renji muttered, “No problem. I’ll suck you and jack myself off.”

“No, I… the other thing sounds… awesome.”

That word again—‘awesome’--and the cute way Hisagi’s voice hitched excitedly as he asked for it, made Renji laugh wickedly. “You think you can cope?”

“No guarantees,” Hisagi said with a wobbly smile of his own as he watched Renji expertly unwind the obi. He just sat back and seemed to admire Renji with the kind of look people usually reserved for him. Hisagi gulped in a breath as the hakama began to loosen, “You’re so sexy when you’re like this, charging forward. Can’t you see it? So… fierce... so wild.”

Suddenly, Renji was unable to continue for trembling hands. He’d never thought of himself like that before. He looked into Hisagi’s eyes. “Yeah?”

“Oh, fuck, yeah,” Hisagi said. “Snarling and strong and full of spit and fight….? That’s fucking hot.”

Renji’s whole body flushed at that. So much he heard the opposite: _control yourself. Can’t you be more like the others? Settle down! The nail that sticks up will be hammered down. ___

“You want me to let go? You want me to be wild?” Renji choked, trying to show how deeply this moved him. Fuck if he was going to cry before sex. After, maybe, but before was just too much…

“Isn’t that how your Zabimaru is?”

Zabimaru’s rumble throbbed deep inside Renji, setting fire to his already aching cock. Instead of answering, he gave Hisagi’s hakama an anxious tug and pulled aside the long tails of the shitagi and kosode. Giving in to his animal instinct, Renji buried his face in the skin of Hisagi’s stomach, nipping and licking along the lines of rock hard physique. Goddamn it, look at this body! So beautifully sculpted by hard work and tested in battle. In the moonlight, Renji could see a wicked scar that cut from rib to hipbone, and his tongue traced the line. Underneath him, Hisagi shivered with delight.

Renji’s palms trail along Hisagi’s long, lean form. He hooked his thumbs around those jutting hipbones and his fingers spread across taut muscles and…. Damn it. Of course, Hisagi was wearing those crazy-ass fundoshi. “Uh… look, can get yourself out of those? I don’t have a clue.”

Hisagi, who had been pleasantly squirming under Renji’s touch, blinked and lifted his head to glance down at his underwear, which nicely showed off the outline of his own arousal. “Huh? What?”

“Look, I never fucking mastered underwear.” Renji grumpily explained while pulling himself up on his knees and starting on his own obi. “Didn’t have ‘em back home, okay?”

“Then what are you…?” When the fabric of Renji’s hakama slipped down, Hisagi’s eyes were all wide and cutely startled again. Renji thought Hisagi might actually get one of those cartoon nosebleeds the way he was looking at him. “Oh.”

The hurried way Hisagi worked at untwisting and untying his undies had Renji laughing. Going down on his hands and knees, he gave Hisagi’s nose a little kiss. Then, just to be cruel, Renji traced the outline of the ‘69’ with his tongue. He started nibbling on Hisagi’s throat. Moving down to lick and nip at collarbone, Renji’s hand felt for the ties of the kosode. 

There was an intake of breath that made Renji ask, “You don’t want to be completely naked?” 

When Hisagi shook his head, Renji thought he heard a muttered, “Scars.”

Oh. Right. Renji hadn’t really thought about how badly Hisagi had been hurt that fateful day. He wanted to say that it didn’t matter to him, and that, if anything, he’d probably find battle scars kind of hot, but… to each his own. Renji pulled his hands away respectfully and asked, “You don’t mind if I do, do you?” 

There was another shake of Hisagi’s head, so Renji pulled himself up again, letting Hisagi have a bit of a show. He undid the ties outside and in, and, after a few seconds, he was able to let the silks slide from his shoulders. 

Hisagi’s eyes looked surprised to see the tattoos on Renji’s upper arms.

Renji expected a murmur of ‘beast’ or ‘animal’ or ‘what the hell even are you supposed to be?’ like he got in the showers all the time, but Hisagi’s hands, his palms rough with callouses, reached up and stroked the length of both of Renji’s arms. 

Hisagi whispered, “Beautiful.”

At that, Renji threw himself into another bruising kiss, and they tumbled back onto the ground. Hisagi’s silks were cool and slippery under Renji’s hot skin. Sliding smoothly on his naked flesh, the sensation brought goosebumps up and made Renji’s nipples stiffen. He’d be frustrated at the lack of skin on skin, but Hisagi’s legs were entwined with his. Their bodies banged against each other with mounting urgency and their mouths met hotly.

Renji appreciated how Hisagi tasted of mess hall tea and an undertone Renji’d come to simply associate with: man. Very unpretentious and straightforward, much like Hisagi himself.

Without removing the kosode, Renji kissed his way down Hisagi’s chest. His snaked his hand up under the silks to feel for nipples and to enjoy the sensation of Hisagi’s body moving under him. Hisagi was going to regret not removing his uniform tops, Renji was making them wet with sucking kisses and nips. On the other hand, it was kind of hot to have to imagine what lay underneath. At least the lower half was exposed.

And what a fine sight that was.

Renji couldn’t resist a little taste of this, as well. He ran his tongue along the length of it, nibbling lightly until Hisagi was panting and his cock was starting to twitch and drool. Renji could feel his own starting to do the same. 

“Uh,” Hisagi managed around a moan, “What about me? When do I get some of you?”

With a chuckle, Renji turned around. He tried to be careful not to kneel on any parts, but there were several mutters of “Gods, you’re an oaf,” and ‘Dog, my ass, more like a baboon.” But, soon enough they were situated, and Renji hissed out his surprise when Hisagi’s arms went around his hips, fingers digging into his ass. Then suddenly Hisagi’s mouth was on his cock, hot, wet, and hungry. 

For a second, Renji forgot what he was supposed to be doing. In fact, he kind of forgot everything except the feeling of lips sliding up and down. When Hisagi gave strong suck, Renji lost his breath. “Oh, god! Oh!”

It was all Renji could do to keep from coming right then and there.

But, after all that bravado, Renji’d be damned if he was going to end up the one who couldn’t perform under pressure. It might be sloppy with a lot of moaning, but he’d get the job done. So, Renji ran his hands along Hisagi’s bare legs, spreading them wider and leaned down to take him back into his mouth. 

Of course, bending down meant his ass went up in the air, and he slipped from Hisagi’s attentions. The upside of this was that Renji could make up for lost time, which he did with enthusiasm. Hisagi seemed to lose focus now, as he made soft grunts of pleasure. 

Did Hisagi really want an animal? Renji wondered applying just the slightest pressure of teeth. 

To which he got a hiss of “Yes! Yes! Oh, Yes! Gods, yes.”

So when Hisagi wrenched himself up and sucked Renji back in, Renji gave in to his wicked desire to thrust in while using his teeth on Hisagi again. The shudder that wemt though Hisagi made Renji think he could be even nastier, if he wanted, and oh, how he wanted. All of Academy was about holding everything back, trying to be proper in ways that had never fit him. 

So, Renji raked his fingernails along the insides of Hisagi’s thighs. Hisagi seemed to lose his rhythm, so Renji just thrust as hard and fast as he wanted. Swallowing Hisagi as deeply as he could, Renji let his hands get a firm grip on Hisagi’s ass. He shoved him in deep, hitting the back of his own throat, feeling himself do the same inside Hisagi.

Renji didn’t think Hisagi was doing more than holding on at this point, but Hisagi surprised him by spreading Renji’s ass cheeks. Sliding his hand down, he did something to Renji’s balls that had Renji bucking wildly. He felt himself lose it then, like a shot. But as he rode the after shocks, Renji did the teeth trick on Hisagi again, while digging his nails in deep into the tender flesh of Hisagi’s ass. That was what it took. Renji swallowed Hisagi as fast as he came. 

 

After licking Hisagi clean, Renji exhaustedly clambered up Hisagi’s body and lay beside him. The moonlight bathed their bodies in cool milky light and the songs from the Loser’s Camp had shifted to some soft, romantic lament.

Into Hisagi’s ear, Renji chuckled, “I think found my happy place.”

Hisagi snorted. “Oh fuck. Oh, fuck, me too.”

More importantly, Hisagi had shown him that Rukia wasn’t the only one who loved his enthusiasm. Renji felt stronger just knowing the animal didn’t have to always be caged in this place. That maybe, the next time someone barked, he’d fucking bark back louder. _Just try and hammer this nail down,_ Renji thought with a snarl. _I’ll show you a nail with teeth._

Zabimaru answered with a joyous bellow.

“Fuck me, I’m going to sleep through classes tomorrow.” Hisagi slurred exhaustedly, “You’re going to fail out and it’s going to be all my fault.”

“No,” Renji said, feeling a different kind of fire in his belly and he got up and started hunting for his clothes, “I was serious, sempai. I got a happy place now. It’s a wild, untamed place and no snot-nosed dickwad with a ink brush is going to keep me from it.”

Hisagi raised a fist in an attempt at support, but it fell heavily back to the ground. “Go, you!”

Renji laughed. “C’mon, Hisagi. You can’t stay here. The servants will be scandalized in the morning to trip over your fine looking ass.”

“But this is my happy place…”

“C’mon,” Renji said, shouldering into his clothes. “Get up, or I’ll carry you.”

“Oh… that’d be kind of hot.”

“Shut up. Seriously, sempai, hop to, or I’ll drag you back to campus by your hair.”

“Hotter.”

Renji laughed. Having tied up his shitagi, he looped the shorter kosode and his hakama over his arm. Hitching the knapsack under his arm, he grabbed his pillow. “Okay, leaving you now.”

“Whoa, not hot!” Hisagi said, his eyes, which had been drifting closed, snapped open and he started frantically looking for hakama and obi. He, too, didn’t bother to put them on, but just threw them over his shoulder. “Wait up,” he said to Renji, who hadn’t really gotten far. “What kind of jerk leaves a guy naked on the ground like that?”

“Heh, the kind of dick you like.”

Hisagi’s scandalized face made Renji laugh harder. Hisagi cuffed him on the arm, and they made their way back to campus laughing. Renji’s heart felt so much lighter; he knew he was that much closer to Zabimaru now.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Josey for her inspiration and usual beyond-the-call-of-duty beta reading. She knows how long it has taken me to finally get Renji and Shuu together. 
> 
> Also, I've completely made up the idea that the characters for "Dirty Dog" and "Hell Hound" could be close in any way. Just roll with it. Tell yourself it's the magical shinigami version of Kanji.


End file.
